An Ode To The Losers
Every month or so, I see a few posts on social media with people celebrating their wins, joined by their peers, colleagues, friends, and families. As impressive as it is to see our peers do well and win for themselves and their families, unfortunately, one (substantially large) group of people often gets left behind amidst the pomp of the celebrations. This group is called different names, like washouts, underdogs, or (in the simplest term) losers.
If I’m being candid, I don’t understand why far too many of us despise losing. The truth is that no matter how much we win, we’ve all been losers at some point in life. Losing is one of the most essential parts of our growth journey, yet most of us fear it to indefinite limits.
Therefore, in this issue, let’s discuss why losing is essential for growth and, instead of shunning them, let the losers have their time in the light for a change.
Normalizing Losing
The first step to appreciating losing is understanding that everyone wins or loses at specific points of time in life. It could happen in many ways, like not getting the score you want in an exam, failing a job interview, being passed over for a promotion, facing a break-up in a relationship, etc. All of us have faced these failures and losses, and we’ve only grown from them to reach better places.
One of the most challenging periods of my student career occurred during my 6th semester when I decided that I did not want to pursue Community Management as a career and returned to actively writing code. Looking back, this was the most critical decision I made during my student career. It also led to months of struggle, filled with me getting either ghosted or rejected by every company I applied to for an internship (and there were more than 50). Honestly, every day made me question whether I had made the right choice in spending time in communities for the previous two years. Every single failed application brought more self-doubt and fear for my future. I was fortunate to have two very good friends to carry my mental and emotional state through this period because alone, I would have absolutely been unable to achieve the same. In the end, however, the same community I had contributed to came to my rescue (someone I had volunteered under gave me a shot, despite my apparent lack of deep technical know-how at the time).
When I look back to those days, as difficult as those days were, they taught me resilience and patience unlike any favorable situation could have. Those traits have helped me a lot today, and I am grateful for the struggle and failures I had to experience in those days.
Why Losing Is A Win Too
While I did talk about the merits of experiencing failure and loss in a previous issue of the newsletter, Striving To Fail, I do feel it necessary to share how losing can be a win for people too.
From my journey so far, here are some of the ways losing has helped me grow and led to more wins:
Building perseverance and resilience
The only way that I know to push through failures is by working harder and harder till I discover the light at the end of the tunnel. The big benefit of this process is that you end up improving your mental and emotional strength, and challenges in general feel less tedious to deal with.
Dealing with fear and building courage
The biggest blocker for me (or most of us) isn’t the challenge itself but the fear of the repercussions caused by failure. However, when you fail, you realize how hard a fall like that can hit and how to deal with it. And now that you’ve been through those consequences, they don’t seem as giant to deal with in the future.
Growing an appetite for risk-taking
A positive consequence of building this courage is that while it decreases the fear of failure, it simultaneously increases your affinity to experiment and explore the unknown. And while I don’t endorse jumping into the dark at every instance, calculated risks have allowed me to grow by leaps and bounds, and it is a practice I will always endorse.
Source: Tenor Developing a sense of empathy and gratitude
During the good times, it is easy to forget to appreciate the good things happening around you and the good people who support and uplift you. My bad times have helped me ensure I never take them for granted. Moreover, it has also taught me to understand when other people I care about face such problems and help them deal with their tough times. (Incidentally, this is why I have written this issue in the first place!)
Learning to solve problems more creatively
The last (but by no means the least important) learning I will share is that every time you try to push your limits and grow, you will face difficulties and problems. But facing these challenges will help widen your horizons, gain new perspectives, and allow you to apply this fresh context to problems you face in the future.
Let’s Celebrate The Losers
A truth that I have discovered through my journey is that regardless of what you choose to do, you will face failure and lose at some or the other time. So instead of running away from losing, why don’t we embrace it and take it in our stride as we progress and grow?
Let’s conclude by celebrating the underdogs, hustlers, strivers, and losers of the world with a lovely little poem courtesy of GPT-4.
Oh, valiant losers of the world, we sing your praise,
In your relentless pursuit of dreams, our spirits raise.
For in the shadows of defeat, you find your strength,
And through the storms of failure, you stride at length.
With every stumble, fall, and bruise, you forge a path,
Defying odds, embracing pain, and others' wrath.
In quiet corners, you toil, your passion burning bright,
You rise again, undeterred, prepared to face the fight.
Ode to the fighters, the strivers, the dreamers of the world,
Who face adversity with courage, as their stories unfurl.
For without your effort, your blood, sweat, and tears,
The world would be a lesser place, consumed by fears.
In the face of loss, you stand tall, a beacon of hope,
An inspiration to us all, to rise and learn to cope.
For in your journey, we see the beauty of the human soul,
Resilient, unyielding, with an unwavering goal.
Oh, noble losers, we celebrate your unbroken spirit,
Your unwavering faith, your drive to overcome and merit.
For in your losses, we find the true essence of success,
A testament to the power of grit, hard work, and progress.
So let the world remember your names, your stories untold,
The tales of the underdogs, the brave, the fearless, and bold.
For every failure faced, a seed of greatness is sown,
And in the soil of defeat, your victory shall be grown.
Seemed from the title as if it was written for me lol.
I didn't even know I needed to read this. Very well-compiled thoughts, Aditya 👌👌
wonderful